“Expectations made of me without my consent or participation are not my responsibility.”
Read that again.
And this time, let it unclench your jaw. Let it pull the pressure from your shoulders. Let it whisper to your tired spirit: you don’t have to carry that anymore.
Because for years, I did.
Anytime someone said, “You should do this,” I picked it up—mentally, emotionally, spiritually—and added it to my ever-growing existential to-do list. I polished it off like it was mine to hold. It didn’t matter if it didn’t align with me. It didn’t matter if it directly contradicted something else I was already doing. It definitely didn’t matter if it drained me completely.
The only thing that mattered, back then, was that if I could just get it all done—every expectation, every demand, every “should”—I might finally be worthy. I might finally be enough.
But here’s the thing they don’t tell you: checking off boxes on someone else’s list doesn’t get you any closer to yourself.
I crossed finish lines that made me sad. I won gold stars for things I didn’t even want. And worst of all? I lost touch with my own intuition. My own inner voice was so buried beneath the noise of other people’s wants and projections that I couldn’t hear what I needed anymore.
That disconnection? That silence? It almost broke me.
The game-changer wasn’t a productivity app or a new hustle strategy. It wasn’t becoming more disciplined or saying yes with a better attitude.
The game-changer was radical self-consent.
Learning to work with my brain, not against it. Honoring my energy, not overriding it. Making space for my needs, not just absorbing everyone else’s. And releasing every single expectation I didn’t ask for.
Once I stopped collecting other people’s “shoulds” and started setting intentions that actually worked for me, everything shifted.
My nervous system? Quieter.
My days? Slower, but richer.
My goals? Actually mine.
And best of all? It’s so much more fucking chill.
You are not a container for other people’s pressure.
You are not a character in someone else’s unfinished script.
You don’t owe the world a performance just to be allowed to rest.
If someone gives you an expectation you didn’t ask for, you are allowed to set it down. You are allowed to say no. You are allowed to say “that’s not mine to carry.”
Because guess what?
If it didn’t come with your consent, it isn’t your responsibility.
And freedom? Real freedom?
Starts there.
Want to reflect deeper? Try this:
- Write a list of all the “shoulds” people have handed you over the years.
- Cross out the ones that never truly belonged to you.
- Circle the ones that still sting—and ask yourself why.
- Then, write your list. Based on your values. Your vision. Your energy.
And don’t forget to breathe.
Because you don’t need to earn rest.
You just need to remember you’re worthy of it—always have been.
Photo by Donald Giannatti on Unsplash
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